Origin of Duckface Pictures

Wow, it's been awhile since I've done a party! Here are some funny things that happened at my last one: I was doing make overs at a tiny little kids table. I usually set it up so that there is a seat for me, a seat across from me that I dub the "Official Make-Over Throne!" so that the little girls know they have to rotate out of that seat, and sometimes a third seat for the next girl in line to sit in. Often when there are lot of guests, the parents will have the other girls do a craft while waiting for make overs. This is genius because it keeps them out of my hair and stops them from stealing my make-over accessories... Anyway, I still had a few girls to make-over when several of the other guests finished their crafts. One little girl decided to sit in the "next" chair and watch. I didn't notice this until her mother pointed it out and gently told her to get up so the next girl in line could sit there. To this little girl replied, very matter-of-factly, "Oh, Ariel said it was ok". I thought this was funny because I had not in fact said anything to that little girl. I looked at the mother who was saying "Well, I guess I can't argue with the princess!" and found my self shaking my head and wearing a sort of "eeep" smile. The mother immediately changed her tune and said "Ooh Ariel didn't REALLY say that now did she?" and pulled the little girl aside to give her a talking to. I felt a little bad for essentially tattling on her, but girl, don't be saying I said things I didn't! This was the same little girl that earlier told me Flounder (Ariel's fish friend) had come to her party. I thought that was weird but I played along saying "Oh how wonderful! I'll have to tell Flounder I saw you today!" She was silent for a second, thinking. Then she said, "Well, maybe you shouldn't tell him you saw me. He might not remember me" (Read: I made that up just to sound cool). She was a 5 year old girl so I'm wasn't going to call her out on it, but I knew what she was up too. I just laughed and said something about how forgetful Flounder is. That girl was really sweet but, seriously, quit making stuff up! The rest of the party went smoothly and then it was time for pictures. This is always a blast. Like trying to herd cats. Or...5-year-olds... When it comes time for the shutter to go off, I always try to swap the traditional "CHHEEEEEESE" or something more princess themed. When I'm Belle, we just say "Beeeellleeee" because it makes for a nice open mouthed smile. "Rapunzel" makes a weird duckface and so does "Ariel" so for them I just opt for "Princeeeessss". Sometimes the parents try to get creative though and have the kids say fun things too, with little thought about the consequences. Somewhere out there are plenty of pictures of little girls in princess outfits collectively making a "DURHUR" face because a parent thought it would be cute for them to say "Floundeeeer!" while they took a picture. And this family is now one of them. However, this family took it one step further. Perhaps after seeing the results of "Floundeeer" and "Arieeeel", the mother decided to switch it up with another popular Little Mermaid character. Unfortunately, she couldn't remember Sebastian's name so instead she said, "Alright, everybody say....what's the crab's name?" So now this family has a picture of 14 little girls saying "What's the crab's naaaaaame!" and one Ariel laughing her ugly wig off. Good times!

I Traded My Voice For These Legs, I'm Going to Use Them!

Ariel's costume is a freaking train wreck. It's along the lines of the outfit Disney thinks Tinkerbell wears.

I mean, is she supposed to be a mermaid? She clearly has legs! Are they sticking out of her fins or something? When kids ask (and they do) about my legs, I always say I wear that dress because I miss having a fin, and this dress reminds me of that. I guess they buy it. But who cares, the "dress" is still ugly.

One of the other princesses came up with a solution though. She wore Ariel's "Land Dress". I thought this was brilliant as my Ariel outfit was not only ugly as sin, but unraveling at the seams (literally!). So here is what I came up with:

(Note the legs+fin version of Ariel I added.) Now, Her land outfit isn't QUITE accurate, depending on what image you are looking at. In the movie her white shirt was sometimes blue and the skirt is longer. Also it's not a corset she is wearing in the movie, it's just part of the dress where as I used a corset (a for real one! It ties in the back!) just to get that look. Her shirt isn't skin tight either, it's kind of a billowy white shirt. I looked for one but I was worried about channeling Seinfeld so I stuck with a white workout shirt I had. And the bow was ribbon from a display at Bath and Body Works were I used to work.

Overall, I think it looks a heck of a lot better than the other monstrosity. I mean, if those kids were willing to accept Ariel's fin-leg nonsense, they'll accept her

Didn't want to look like a pirate

Update: I wore this to the party today and a kid asked me "why didn't you wear your tail?"

First of all, that doesn't make sense.

Second, if I had, you would have asked me "why do you have legs?". These kids won't me happy until I genetically modify myself to flop around on their living room floor with a fish butt and a tail (not gonna happen).

Thirdly, learn the story! She has LEGS at the end. Were you not listening to the story I just read you? Kids the days!

Hmph.

I'm not bitter....

Portrait of the Artist as a Young Mermaid

Ariel and Flounder in Repose -2011

Artist: Lily

Medium: Crayon and Construction Paper

Here is a drawing a little girl did for me when I was Ariel. So precious! I'm sure artwork like this is common for parents and the like, but I'm a young, single woman with no kids; no one draws me pictures! I put it on my refrigerator.

Princesses and Gas

So I was driving to a party last weekend and I caught a girl taking a picture of me a stop light. It got me wondering, how many pictures have people taken of me, and are they all over the internet?

Of course my face is surely plastered all over local Facebook profiles of bragging parents, but

what about the people that happen to catch me at the red light or pumping gas a the gas station? Or blasting down the sidewalk downtown in a downpour in a see-through princess dress and a 3 foot braid trailing behind me?

I mean if I caught Snow White cleaning her windows at the local BP, I'd have to take a sneaky shot and then post it on the internet.

I Googled "princess at gas station" and various other similar queries to see if a picture of me or my cohorts showed up but sadly, no. However, I did find this gem:

Source: Girly Bubble

If the Shoe Fits

I recently did a party as Belle and had the mother comment on my cute shoes. She even took a picture of them! I was flattered because I do put some thought into what shoes I wear with what princess. So I figured you might like to see them for yourself!

Can you match the princess to the shoes?

Clockwise from top:

Tinkerbell

Ariel (fin dress)

Aurora (Sleeping Beauty)

Snow White

Belle

Alice or Ariel (land dress)

Cinderella

Rapunzel (no shoes!)

My favorite shoes are Tinkerbell's! I wore them around one day, to Wal-Mart, getting gas. They are super fun to wear! And no I didn't end up on People of Walmart. But someone did take a picture of me a the gas station...

Mars and Venus at a Princess Party

As many of you know, the east coast (where I am) had a bit of a hurricane this past weekend. Part of my hurricane preparedness kit included a copy of the "Tangled" video game for Wii (as well as pudding and sparking wine. Gotta be prepared!). And yes, it is a kid's game but do I seem like the type of person who is above playing a children's video game?

My favorite part is when they hold hands! How precious.

Anyway, I noticed that there are clearly defined and stereotypical gender roles in the game, which you can play as either Rapunzel or Flynn. When you play as Rapunzel, you run around searching for things to draw, collecting sunbeams and making flowers grow with your glowing hair. As Flynn, you stomp around looking for treasure chests (with the help of your "Flynntuition!" ha!), climbing walls and smashing things with your sword. It even states in the game that Flynn's job is to "protect Rapunzel and clear her path". Rapunzel does have her trusty frying pan, but it doesn't fair as well against the bad guys and does nothing to clear the path of bushes and barrels that only Flynn's sword can break.

I for one, think it's funny that Rapunzel makes flowers grow while Flynn breaks everything in sight. Seems like a pretty accurate portrayal of many of the guys in my life. And granted it would be out of character for the roles to be switched. But it made me wonder, do I predicate these kind of stereotypes at my parties?

I often joke with the girls about trying to do a make over for the little boys at their party. We all laugh together and say things likes "make-up isn't for boys!"

Or is it?

Truth be told though, I was always a little sad when a boy didn't want a make over. I figured I'd have a better chance of getting one of the goofy dad's to opt for eyeshadow and lip glass than a 5 year old boy.

Until yesterday.

Saturday (during the "hurricane"!) I was finally able to brush my blush brush on the cheeks of a little boy! I didn't even have to ask him either; he just hopped right in the chair! I let him chose his eyeshadow color, like everyone else does, and when I told him the orange color he picked out wouldn't show up, he quickly changed it to a bright green (the very same shadow I use as Tinkerbell!) . He picked an orange bracelet to wear too. He kept calling it a necklace though, so I guess he wasn't THAT into it...

This kid wasn't effeminate either. He was just a cool go-with-the-flow kinda guy. His attitude was more of a "when in Rome" kind of deal than anything else. Like, "I'm at a girl's party? Well I guess I better get a make over."

And wear this skirt.

In addition to the make up and the pretty pink skirt over his cargo shorts, he and his friend, who was dressed as Darth Vader, also opted to make tiaras with the girls. The boy in the skirt did a purple one which is the least girly and passes for a prince crown. Darth Vader however, snagged my LAST pink tiara and covered it with jewels. And here I was worried about the girls fighting over the only pink tiara I had.

The birthday girl even joined in role breaking by stealing Mr. Vader's mask and another male party goer's fireman hat. So somewhere on Facebook is a picture of me as Rapunzel next to a little girl in a princess dress wearing a fireman's hat over a Vader helmet. Priceless.

It's parties like these that make me wish I could whip out my iPhone and get some shots myself! Princesses have iPhones, right?

I bet Snow White does

Oh well, until I can find a way to take pictures of these kids without seeming out of character (or just...creepy), I guess Princess Vader and her make up wearing boy friend with have to just live on in my memories.

A Horse is a Horse Of Course Of Course

Somewhere in a not too nearby city, there is a horse that has seen me naked.

"'Ey girl, 'ey!"

Ok so not quite naked, but it did watch me change clothes. I did a party as Belle in a city 45 minutes away from my home. It's the middle of August down here in the south and my car has no AC. So to avoid arriving at the party with pit stains the size of the birthday girl's head, I decided to cruise there in a mini-dress and then change right before.

However, since I ended up at the corner of Nowhere and Farmville, there wasn't a convenient place to change. I was fully prepared to emerge from a Wendy's bathroom ready for the ballroom but Yelp said the closest fast food restaurant or grocery store wasn't for 6 miles. I didn't have time to try and find it. So like any dainty princess on her way to a fancy gala, I just pulled over next to a farm and changed clothes. No harm, no FOWL.............get it?! 'Cause it's a farm!...no?

Whatever, here is a picture of Mr. Ed:

I Do Believe In Fairies! I Do! I Do!

Did a party as Tinkerbell today. Pretty sure I mooned every single person there. Tink is not known for modest attire.

Parent's Eye View:

I also had a couple Non-Believers at this party. One in particular was of the loudmouthed variety, the most dangerous kind. She kept announcing to the small party of winged 5 year old that I wasn't real. I finally had to give up trying to convince her and whisper in her ear "you're very smart, but don't spoil it for your friends!" Typically I won't acknowledge that they are right but this little girl was fixin' to ruin it for the rest of them. Fortunately, I didn't hear another peep out of her about it and she seemed content with simply sending me knowing glances throughout the rest of the party, clearly proud of herself for seeing right through such a rouse.

I think I actually managed to convert the other Non-Believer. She was of the tricky question variety, which if you are well read will hardly pose a threat. I shot her questions down as easily as the lost boys shot down the Wendybird.

"How did you get here?"

"I flew of course!"

"Can you fly now?"

"Why no, I'm too big."

"Why are you so big?"

"Because Terence [dust talent fairy] gave me some very special pixie dust that made me grow big and tall so I could come see you!"

[Upon noticing a rip in my wings that expose the wire] "Your wing is broken."

"Oh no it's not broken, I just scraped it on a tree before I got here. I'm not used to being this big!"

"How are you getting home?"

"I'll fly of course!"

"Can we watch you?"

"Well probably not. I have to wait until I shrink and that won't be for awhile. Until then I'll walk."

"How come we can hear you talk?"

"Because I'm big now, thanks to Terence's magic pixie dust!"

"What's her name? [pointing to some random unnamed fairy's picture in my story book]"

"Oh that's Claire! She is friends with Fawn. She's an animal talent fairy too!"

"That's Pete! [pointing to Terence in my story book, trying to trick me]"

"No, that's not Pete! That's Terence silly! The one who gave me my pixie dust! THAT'S Pete back there! [pointing to random unnamed fairy in the background.] Pete's got black hair."

Girl, please. I got this fairy nonsense DOWN. The key is name dropping. If they hear you are on a first name basis with their favorite fairy buddies, they'll know you're legit.

In closing, here is my favorite line from the Disney Fairies movies, featuring my girls Iridessa, Fawn, Silvermist and Rosetta (and Tink of course!):

Celebrities and Rainstorms

Got a taste of what it's like to be a celebrity today. I did a party at a local children's museum and here were hundreds of kids everywhere. Luckily the party was in a private room, but when I stepped out and started walking back to the front entrance, I was just about mobbed. It took me nearly 20 minutes just to leave the building! It's amazing how wearing a long wig and a princess dress will make people's jaws drop. There were gasps and gawking all over the place! I must have a dozen pictures taken and given out even more hugs. I'm not sure why I didn't see that coming though, I mean, Rapunzel is pretty famous!

Unfortunately, by the time I made it to the exit, it had started POURING. I had parked over a block a way. With no umbrella and no time to hang around, I had to made a break for it.

Turns out Rapunzel's dress gets very see through and very clingy when wet. I was downtown too, so there were plenty of people hustling and bustling about even in the rain to throw me a few strange looks. A timely honk told me at least one person got a glimpse of this rarely seen, less-than-innocent side of Rapunzel. Only Flynn Rider gets to see that! ;)

They See Me Rollin, They Hatin'

I always wonder what people think when they see Snow White cruising down the highway...